Things I never thought I would say...

An oldie but a goodie!  

1) "That is the cutest poop I have ever seen!" - S's husband

2) "Stop trying to french mommy!" - S's husband

3) "If you wake that baby up I will punch you in the face."  Let's change it to "If you ________(insert action here)______, I will punch in the face!"

4) "Don't lick the truck!!"  - To J as he played with the baby on the bumper (aka his reflection).

5) Chanting "H2O, H2O, H2O!!!" while the baby drinks water, because it's funnier than saying "water".

6) "Stop chewing on the electrical cord!!!" (No babies were harmed during this and the cord was removed... Sneaky baby!)

7) "You may touch your penis, only when the poop is cleaned off."

8) "Don't lick the dog..."

9) "Quit chewing on the furniture!" (I swear J chews furniture more than my dog ever did!)